Since sending the boys to school I have been struggling to feel productive. School has its advantages. We are a lot nicer to each other. We love the daily homecomings. There is more peace and less yelling. I enjoy every minute I spend with my boys. I will admit that I have had times in the past when I didn't enjoy every minute, in fact I wanted to run away several times.
School has its disadvantages too. (Now this is all about me.) My self esteem has taken a hit. I feel like I haven't been very productive. I can get everything I want done by 9AM, then what. Noah and I are lost without the boys home. But more so, I don't feel like I am.... (I don't even know what the word is.) I have been so busy,
too busy, for so many years, that I am at a loss with too much time on my hands. I read, I feel guilty. I am on the computer, guilt. I feel like I need a job, but don't want one.
I only have 4 hours a day with only one boy, I never want him to leave.